{that awkward moment...}
please tell me it isn't only me that gets really tired of hearing that question? what is it with people? just because i am young and happily married does not mean i want to jump on the bandwagon and pop out three babies in three years.
first of all, poop scares me. vomit makes me shudder. and slobber? umm gag. i often think that i am not cut out to be a mom. unless God sends me a kid that comes vomit-proof, potty trained and with its final set of teeth that is. then i could maybe handle it.
emphasis on the maybe.
and let's not even mention things like the economy, over population, our meager income and the state of the world in general.
one other reason that i don't really want to have a baby is because i have tons of kids to love on and spoil that come free of poop-slash-vomit-slash-slobber issues. and i love these babies just as much as i could ever love my own so i want to brag on them a bit.
rebel and sadie. my fur babies. my snuggle muffins. my fun, sassy and loving babies that i can stick outside when i get tired of them
my perfect precious nephew thomas. as far as i am concerned this baby is as much mine as it is my brother's. well love wise. i mean i love him so much and would do pretty much anything for him. i think i get a glimpse of feeling a mother's love when i hold him but it doesn't leave me with an "empty arms" feeling longing for more.
oh yeah and let me mention this. he is one month and a couple weeks old and the kid is eating rice cereal out of a spoon. for realz. he is a beast. so proud.
my godson noah. this child is nothing short of a miracle considering all his momma went through to get him here. i cannot believe that he will be two years old this year.
his sister molly. one of the tiniest buttercup babies i have ever seen.
my pseudo-nephew grayson. this is him splashing and having fun at the waterpark for his first birthday a few weeks ago. this kid is full of personality and so much fun to be around!
this is jake and ben (jake on the left, ben on the right). chris worked with their mother when he lived in shreveport and her husband was deployed. he dropped them off and picked them up from school, spent many weekends babysitting them and eventually became a seriously big part of their lives. we are proud to know that their parents have entrusted their care to use should anything happen to them.
and finally the group of kiddos that i probably have the most impact on...
these are the girls in our youth group.
these are the boys. (i know they look like hollister models don't they!)
God has blessed my life beyond belief by allowing me to work with these young people. seeing them grow up (we get them in the sixth grade thru their graduation) and start to ask really hard questions about their spirituality, make mature decisions and really form their spiritual lives is a miracle. i have so much love in my heart for these kids i think it could burst. i am more than a little proud of them as well. their spiritual lives grew by leaps and bounds over the summer and i have seen some of them display such acts of courage and love that i was embarrassed to be called one of their leaders. they should certainly be leading me. if you ever get an opportunity to volunteer with young people don't hesitate. you will be blessed, i promise!
see? i have kids! i have love for children! i spoil babies! i would just prefer to send them to their parents after all of their indulgences have been met. *wink*
so i think the next time i am asked "when i am going to have babies" i think i am going to say...
i have more kids than i know how to love properly. when God sees me fit to be a mother to one of my own, i'm pretty sure He can take care of that. until then i will let my heart grow and fill up with love for the ones i have.
does anyone else share this feeling with me??
Gah! People ask us this all.the.time. The thing is, what if we WERE trying, but were having problems? Do people think of that even? I doubt it. I've made a vow to never make those comments to young people when I am old and...ignorant. (Said as nicely as possible.)
ReplyDeleteLove your comeback. God's timing is better than anyone's. :)
I know exactly what you mean! We waited five years after we got married to have kids, and we were fighting that question the whole time.
ReplyDeleteI will say - I was SURE I was not cut out to be a mom. VERY easily grossed out and would gag at the slightest bodily function, but it really (REALLY) does change when it's your own, PROMISE.
That said, the timing has to be God's and it's no one else's business! :) So when DO you think you'll have your own? (kidding!)
This is a great post! It is amazing how many children's lives you touch! I would say that God may have not blessed you with your own little one's yet, but he has blessed you with all the kids in your life!
ReplyDeleteBravo for following your
ReplyDeletebeautiful heart;
I LOVE your authenticity:)
And your pups....swooning.
I've always had a thing for
beagles....the love of my life
was my Oliver.
Yep, Ollie Abbott.
You keep loving the way you do
....it's a beautiful thing!
-Jennifer
I completely hear ya! Not a week goes by that I don't hear that questions...after 4 years, it's getting a little annoying! Ha! Glad I'm not the only one :-)
ReplyDeleteI always find it interesting - the questions that people feel free to ask others. I think when you're a Christian, there's this odd expectation that you should pop out kids as soon as you're married. Because I have twins, the question I always get is whether they're "natural." Cuz no matter what the answer is, it's totally their business, right? Good grief!
ReplyDeleteYou are a great Mom to all the lucky kids in your life! Especially the youth, who I know look up to you so much and look to you for spiritual guidance. If it's meant to be it will happen when the time is right.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting that awesome picture you took of Grayson on his 1st birthday. It is one of my favorites!
Love ya,
Nina
I'm friends with a clergy couple who had the perfect response when someone in their family or church asked when they were going to have kids. The said, "Three years from the last time someone asks us." And they meant it. And people learned to stop asking. They're pregnant now.
ReplyDeleteMy sister has learned how to tear up and respond, "We can't." She and her husband don't know if they can or not, but I think it's a brilliant response to people who can't mind their own business.
We found that both of us being unemployed and moving in with my Brother another effective way to have people stop asking, but It's not a preferred method.
ReplyDeleteMany times, people don't think before they speak!! This is a question I will never ask anyone! Sounds like you have so many little lives that you are influencing...way to go!!
ReplyDeleteI am definitely with you on this one. I'm 21 and do lots of childcare, but I don't feel any strong urge to be a mother any time soon myself. If I married a guy who really wanted kids, well, we could do that and I'd be fine - but it's no huge desire. There's a tone of kids out there to love!
ReplyDelete